Walk With Wayne | Newsletter

...Share the Journey ...Retrieve your Self

February 2005 Vol. 3, No. 2

A Monthly Newsletter Published and Created by Wayne Peacock
©2005 Wayne Peacock. All rights reserved.

Dear Friends:

As my practice has shifted toward relationship coaching and education, so to has the focus of The Walking Paper. In this issue, I offer a simple yet profound tool for creating and building relationships of all kinds.

Also, it is my intention to shorten the length of The Walking Paper. For the second issue running, there are fewer words and the trend will continue.

My hope is that you find value in reading my contribution to the dialogue of relationships. If you don't, or have a hard time finding the time to read it in peace, know that you will not hurt my feelings if you use the Unsubscribe link at the end of each issue. That is so much more clean than, say, deleting each issue upon arrival.

Finally, my intention is that the readership expands dramatically in 2005. The only way that can happen is if each of you passes this issue to a few persons you know who have a stake in their relationships and might be curious about the latest in relationship trends. You can serve me simply by sending the name and email address of referrals and I will add to the distribution. Thank you!

Celebration of the Month

The birth of Henry Winslow Peacock to Daniel and Robin Peacock. Henry Winslow is grandchild #4. Miracles just keep on coming.

Issue of the Month

Friendship - The quality of our lives is directly proportional to the quality of our friendships. For most, the majority of our best friends date back to our early years and what bind us are the many shared experiences we've had. What would we be without our stories? As we age, the number of best friends in our lives decreases due to distance, death and other life circumstances. However, our need for friendship remains, so the question for many of us becomes, how can we create new and lasting friendships. A partial solution to this most human need is found in the story below.

Client of the Month

Nicole and I have had a coach-client relationship for over two and a half years. As a single woman, Nicole has become aware that increasing the quality and quantity of her friendships is absolutely vital to a fulfilling life. Her Christmas Story gives some clues on how to proceed.

Each Christmas, Nicole recruits about six women to help prepare gift baskets. In all previous years she has had the intention of hosting a meal for her hirees after the Christmas season is over for the purpose of simply hanging out together outside the workplace environment. And each year, regular as a calendar, she has failed to do what she had promised herself was important.

Something shifted this past holiday season because Nicole did send out an invitation and all six women responded immediately in the affirmative.

About this time, Nicole raised the subject during a coaching session. She was proud of getting herself unstuck with this small but important intention. When she was done telling me her dinner plans for the girls, I reflexively blurted, "I want you to change their lives forever". Nicole's eyes widened as I told her the 'how" of my challenge. First, picture in her mind's eye each of the women, one at a time; and while doing so identify a couple enduring qualities, i.e. the essence, of each. Second, tell each woman the qualities you discovered about them. Nicole accepted the challenge and began the process. She found that in fewer than five minutes of visualizing, she could discover the qualities and truths about each woman.

Fast forward to the dinner at a local eatery where Nicole's mind was going back and forth between carrying out the mission as planned, or to simply pass out cards she had prepared to confirm her verbal message. When the desserts were gone, Nicole's courageous self announced that she had something to say. Then, one by one, she went around the table telling each woman what she knew to be true about them. The act was so humbling and powerful that tears appeared on several cheeks. Bingo! The simple act of acknowledging the essence of another person created instantaneous connection and the potential for a whole community of new friends.

The crowning highlight for Nicole was when one woman, noticing that Nicole had read from notes, asked if she could get a copy of the revealed qualities. At that point, Nicole proudly reached in her pocket and brought out envelopes for each that contained written confirmation of her acknowledgments.

From her coach's view, Nicole not only succeeded in changing the lives of her guests, she changed her own life in the process. She now relates that if she spends the time, she can see the essential human nature in anyone. And perhaps for the first time in her life, Nicole felt the power of her impact when she communicated "the truth" about another.

In her workplace looking through her "boss" lens, Nicole saw the utility of her employees, i.e. what can they do for me. For the most part, she was seeing their shortcomings. On the other hand, looking with curiosity through her "friendship" lens, Nicole could see the qualities that make friendships incredibly rich and valuable.

Will Nicole have more quality relationships in her life in 2005? Unlikely, if she looks at others for what they can do for her. If she looks at others for the gifts she can offer them, it's a lock.

Teaching of the Month
"The learn'd is happy nature to explore; the fool is happy that he knows no more."
Alexander Pope

Muscle of the Month

Muscle #6 - Seek the Truth about Others

There is a phrase, "Cynics always find what they are looking for." There probably is a corresponding phrase that expresses what Nicole "looked for and found". Come to think of it, maybe the biblical phrase from Matthew 7:7, "...seek, and ye shall find..." means the same as Muscle #6 states.

However I name it, Muscle #6 holds that all humans have a combination of godlike qualities, with some shining brighter than others at any one time. Further, if we look for the essence/the truth/the godlike qualities of others, we will be astonished at the rewards. For in this brand of looking/seeing we are 100% free of our burdensome judgments, opinions and assumptions about the person we are considering. We can see their true nature. With that seeing, we are connected and can begin the creation of friendships that nourish.

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