...Share the Journey          ...Retrieve your Self   January 2004                                                          Vol. 2, No. 1 A Monthly Newsletter Published and Created by Wayne Peacock ©2004 Wayne Peacock. All rights reserved. Dear Fellow Pedestrians, I begin the second issue of The Walking Paper with a brief excerpt from a New Year's Day Editorial in the Providence Journal because it captures my sense about life so well: "…for those able to find the courage to embrace life fully, there will be great joy available for free, or at least at discount prices - from family and friends, from the glory of the infinitely complex and colorful natural world around us, from pursuing our curiosity, or just from the sheer physicality of our existence - the touches, sights, smells, and sounds, all available for those who turn off their TV's and computers and wander around under the sky, or even under the fluorescent lights…" A Toast: May we all find the courage to embrace life as it is in 2004. The purpose of the following Wayne's Words column is to share real life examples of what's possible when humans dare to dream and then courageously begin to assume full responsibility for creating the life they want. Wayne's Words Who was Jim when we began our coaching relationship? Jim was a very private person who was undergoing several major life transitions: retirement, relocation from the city to the country, and construction of a new home. It was surprising to find that his True Dream had nothing to do with those changes, and that he wanted to focus the coaching relationship on something else entirely. Jim's ultimate goal was to lead a more peaceful life. In order to do that, he realized he needed to come out of the isolated shell he had built and find a way to truly connect with other human beings. From his earliest memories, he had felt separated and withdrawn from all but a precious few family members and friends. He thought of himself as an outsider looking in. We discovered in him a deep hunger to reach out and connect with his fellow man. Based on this discovery, we established CONNECTION as goals 1, 2, 3 and 4. What is connection? How does one go about getting connected? How will Jim know when he is connected? Where to begin? In our work together, these were some of the powerful questions that surfaced and were presented to Jim. In watching Jim struggle with these questions I intuited that curiosity might be a path worth pursuing. Jim's homework was to be curious about the people he came in contact with each week. Within days, he became an enthusiastic student of inquiry and listening. To his amazement, Jim discovered that when he was genuinely interested in finding out more about someone he met, the response was, without exception, extremely positive. Everyone opened up to Jim. He also discovered that the more he focused his awareness on the other person, the stronger that person's interest became in him. Success! Within a few weeks, Jim had learned how to make connections and be connected. With each new connection, Jim found more peace in his life. After a few months Jim grew from being a beginning listener to being an experienced one. The people who were the focus of his curiosity became allies in his new community. The new skills he acquired through the coaching relationship, curiosity and listening, made his transition from city-dwelling professional to country-dwelling retiree smoother, more peaceful and more enjoyable. In Jim's quest for peace, he faced constant bouts with his inner critic. Each and every time he met someone new, Jim had to exercise his courage muscle like a bodybuilder working to gain strength. As an excruciatingly private person, this indeed may be his biggest triumph of all. Eight Keys to Being Connected 1. Accept that you don't feel connected and ask for help from a certified professional coach. 2. Approach your quest for connection as an opportunity for self-discovery. 3. Adopt the perspective that all humans naturally desire connection with you. 4. Place your awareness over there on the other person, ask simple questions from a place of "not knowing", and listen deeply with your heart. Repeat. 5. Notice your impact on the other person when they are the object of your curiosity and full attention. 6. Acknowledge what you are hearing, seeing and feeling about the other person. 7. When it is the other person's turn to learn about you, be ready to share your true nature. 8. Savor the feeling of being connected with another human being and know that connection is always available when you are willing and able to be fully present with another. Call to Action   In general, the level of contentment/peace we have in our lives is directly dependent on the quality of connection we have with others and ourselves. Questions you might ask yourself are: 1. Today, how would I rate my level of contentment/inner peace on a scale from 1 to 10, a 10 being 100% peaceful? 2. Today, how would I rate my level of contentment with myself? 3. Today, how would I rate my level of contentment with my primary relationships? 4. In general, how present am I with myself? 5. In general, how present am I with others? 6. What is missing in my relationships? 7. What would my life be like if I felt fully connected with all my relationships? 8. How confident am I that I can establish and maintain healthy connections? If these questions spark an interest in learning more about the role connections play in your life, please contact me at wayne@walkwithwayne.com or call 401-885-8488. Monthly Poems Each month I will share with you a poem or quotation that speaks to me about the journey home to our true nature. Don't be surprised if the author of the quoted materials gave birth to their words centuries ago. I am in constant awe of the simplicity, wisdom and relevance of our ancient ancestors. Do Not Look Back, My Friend Do not look back, my friend no one knows how the world began. Do not fear the future, nothing lasts forever. If you dwell on the past or the future You will miss the moment.   My Dear Heart Never Think You Are Better Than Others My dear heart never think you are better than others. Listen to their sorrows with compassion. If you want peace, don't harbor bad thoughts do not gossip and don't teach what you do not know. -Rumi Values Clarification - A Golden Opportunity If you have not yet visited my new website, please go to www.WalkWithWayne.com. The site includes a self-assessment tool that walks you through an exercise that will help you identify what values are most important to you? And, how well are you living your values? Find the answers to both questions with the unique and complimentary Values Clarification feature on my new website. Complimentary Coaching If you are curious about this thing called co-active coaching please contact Wayne for a 30-minute complimentary coaching session. The chances are high that your life will never be the same. Contact Wayne! 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